Remembering To Be Grateful...

It seems like, no matter how many blessings one has, it is still sometimes hard to remember to be grateful. The bills keep coming, the house is never clean enough, the kids are throwing tantrums, etc...therefore, it is imperative to constatntly be assessing priorities, and taking the time to find and accentuate the good in every situation and to let go of the bad. This is all that is needed for a happy life. Deciding to be happy can be hard work, but once you have dedicated yourself to it, it becomes a habit, and then a lifestyle and then, eventually it is second nature and takes no thought at all. In that vein, i am deciding to see the good. I am choosing to be happy. My house may never be spotless but it is scattered with my babies toys; the unmade bed that I spent all night nursing my son in, the messy bathroom where G is learning to brush his own teeth...These are not eye sores to be moaned and fretted over, these are deliciusly messy reminders of a life that Love built...

This Home

This Home.
was built on Love,
Nourished with Laughter
Blessed by God.
And will be Protected from harm
by Strong Hands
and Happy Hearts
that will give Freely
towards Building a Haven
Around
the Lives they have created....

Looking forward to the week ahead with excitement and gratitude :)

Letter to Giovanni 4.25.2012 (2yrs, 5 months)

Hi my love,

Your brother Isaiah arrived into the world 6 days ago on April 19th, 2012. A couple days before he arrived, your dad and I took you to get your first real haircut and spent a lovely day at the Oregon Zoo with you to celebrate Packy the elephants 50th birthday. That day was so special for me, You talked about seeing Packy all day and had a blast running around and oohing and ahhing over the "big animals" (sea lions) and the sheep, pigs and cows at the petting zoo. We all went on a train ride and  you jumped, giggled and made your dad and I laugh the whole time. All day long I marveled at you, looking so handsome with your new haircut. I couldn't stop smiling at your delight in the sunshine and animals.

When your brother was born, I stayed in the hospital for two days afterwards. When I came home, you had gone on a growth spurt and seemed to have "grown up" before my very eyes. While I am, of course, delighted to see you growing into such a strong, healthy, amazing boy, it also made me sad to think that soon, you will not be a baby anymore and this (along with the pregnancy hormones) has stirred up some wonderful memories as well as some sadness in me remembering when you were my only baby!

For the past two and a half years, the amount of joy and the infinite number of beautiful, lasting memories you have given me are immeasurable and priceless. I remember when, we brought you home from the hospital and you were so tiny (and very very collicky) you hardly slept and were restless and upset most of the day and night but, despite all that fussiness, I fell madly in love with you, taking pictures to document even the slightest smile, new discovery and moments of your day. I would put you on the counter in your bouncing chair while I made dinner and strap a tiny, rattling toy duck to your wrist to play with. I would list out loud to you every ingredient I was using and you would watch me intently with your beautiful eyes, As you got older, I would bring your high chair in and have you "help" me make dinner while I fed you bits and pieces of tomatoes, cheese and any other ingredients I thought you would enjoy. During your earliest days, you hated to miss any of the action going on in the house so I would carry you and your boppy pillow with me from room to room, propping you up and talking to you while I did laundry or dishes or caught an occasional and rare nap.

These days you amuse your mama to no end with your love of your sidewalk chalk as well as your watering can that your great grandpa gave you and that you use to water the flowers and grass any time the sun comes out. Your love of nature, basketball, water and the park and your funny, light spirit that keeps us all laughing. When I came home from the hospital with Isaiah fearing that maybe you wouldn't feel as close to me with the new addition, you helped me with the baby and gave me your big, wonderful signature hugs throughout the day where you pull me in tight to you, close your eyes and hold me for as long as I need you to. When your dad and I venured out to the waterfront park the other day, you found a tiny patch of sand and stood on it, calling it the "beach".  When I was sitting by your crib one night after putting you to bed and began to get nostalgic and sniffle into the phone while talking to your Grandma Bubby (or "Bubb-ah" as you call her in your sweet, still baby voice) you began sniffing to mimic my sniffling, automatically making me laugh out loud to which you responded by laughing out loud as well, once again cheering my heart as you always do. I have made it my goal to sit next to your bed every night until you are asleep and this has brought me so much joy as we sing and laugh you off to sleep. The other night, as your grandma sang to you over the phone from many many miles away, you raised your arm and waved your sippy cup in the air, once again eliciting laughter from your mama. I love nothing more than I love watching you grow into a person that clearly lights the hearts of others in such an effortless way. Everywhere we go, you make people laugh and strangers are always commenting on how cute you are.

During the past two and a half years, you have blossomed into this funy, smart and absolutely breathtakingly beautiful boy who loves to dance, loves to watch, sing and dance to Yo Gabba Gabba (so much so that you have earned the nickname Gabba Man from your dad), loves to be read to (Bedtime little Monsters, Muddy paws and Curious George are some favorites) and who would choose picking flowers for mama, watching birds and playing with sticks and rocks over strenuous sports any day. You are strong and solid in build but you are kind and gentle and treat other kids with respect. You and I have so many inside jokes from all the time we have spent together reading, taking field trips and spending countless hours on end together. When you are eating your snacks, you will look over at me and move your lips and make a funny face. I mimic this which never fails to send you into a laughing fit. Another favorite joke of ours is for me to take this old green basket and pretend it is a hat. I let the basket fall off my head while talking and then I act shocked and you start cracking up. When someone asks how old you are you assuredly say "TWO" while holding up 2 fingers and when someone asks your name, you happily yell out "Big G"!! You love it when I sing songs from Yo Gabba Gabba and you have this wonderful imagination where an old cone becomes a loudspeaker, a plastic toy becomes a juice cup and you will endlessly amuse yourself by acting out scenes from a favorite show or from something that happened during your day. You love playing the drums your dad got you and you hate to be told to be quiet. You have recently started saying "okay mama" when I ask you to do something and you say, "please, thank you and I'm sorry" at the appropriate times. These funny little things you do and these times we share warm my heart and make me remember that, even though you are now not my only baby, you will forever be my first born, you will forever be my baby and you will always hold a wonderful, huge spot in my heart that only you can fill.

Thank you for all the memories and for being my big helper. I will forever cherish the times we have spent just you and I and I am looking forward to a life of laughter and love as I watch you and your brother grow up into the great friends and great men I know you will become! I love you my little "sweet pea", "green bean" "baby beast", "Gabba Man", "Rock N Roll", "Big G" :)

Big hugs from your ever loving mama!

Road Trippin

I am lucky that, with the line of work I am in, we are slow around the holidays and I am afforded long vacations during these periods. Having been gifted with 3 weeks off over the end of December/beginning of January, I had planned an 8 day trip to California to visit family. Being 6 and a half months pregnant, I had not planned on bringing my 2 year old along on this trip. However, at the last minute, I started having anxiety about being away from my precious boy for that long and decided that I simply must take him with me. Of course my family and friends thought I was nuts for taking on this amount of work and all tried to assure me it could not be done. Well, fortunately, I am the type of person that, when determined to do something, only becomes more determined the more people try to assure me that what I want to do cannot be done…

So, at 6am on a cold Monday morning, I headed out for the long drive from Portland, Oregon to California w/my half asleep baby in the back seat. I drove for about two hours while he slept peacefully. With my cup of coffee close by, a full tank of gas, my GPS securely in place and my CD player cranking out my favorite tunes, I felt peaceful and free. Giovanni woke up at about 8am and we stopped for breakfast at a place called Joe’s Café in Harrisburg, Oregon. The portions were huge and tasty, the food was cheap and Giovanni kept me entertained by pointing at a man with a long white beard sitting near us and occasionally yelling “Santa Clause” at this stranger. After breakfast, we took a stroll through a little country store filled with souvenirs and snacks and I let Giovanni pick out some goodies for the road. Once back on the road, I drove for about an hour and a half before stopping for gas, getting in a quick diaper change and letting Giovanni run around on a strip of lush green grass set away from the road. I couldn't help but laugh as my baby skipped and cooed happily while investigating each leaf, drop of dew and dandelion intently. Our next stop a couple hours later was in Roseburg, Oregon where I pulled up to an indoor shopping mall. Giovanni had me cracking up laughing when he looked out the window, saw the mall and exclaimed, “Mall, we’re at the mall!!!” As if of course that explained this long drive perfectly. Stopping in a rite aid bathroom for a diaper change where they had no changing table, I reluctantly laid my jacket on the bathroom floor and placed Giovanni on top of it while his trusting, happy gaze thanked me for my selflessness. During our stop at the mall I bought him snacks, refilled his sippy cup and gave him a handful of quarters to put in the candy and prize machines. We stayed a the mall for about an hour and a half before beginning our trek to our stop-for-the-night destination of Ashland, Oregon. We got to Ashland around 3pm and checked into our hotel. I put on Yo Gabba Gabba on the Ipad for Giovanni while I brought our luggage in and then we headed out to Lithia park, a gorgeous park in downtown Ashland where Giovanni got to chase ducks, stand on a bridge overlooking a river bed and check out a mini waterfall. After Lithia park, we walked around downtown for a bit to enjoy the amazing 65 degree weather (in January!!). All of the quaint shops were still decked out in beautiful Christmas lights and Giovanni was fascinated. When we had had our fill of sightseeing, we headed back to the hotel for pizza, cartoons and a trip to the indoor heated pool. At first, Giovanni was afraid of the pool but I sat him on the first step and let him jump into my arms. Once he would jump I would swoop him up in my arms and twirl him around the pool. All the way back to our room (and for half the night after that) he excitedly talked about the pool with a big smile on his face.

The next day we enjoyed a continental breakfast in the hotel lobby followed by more Yo Gabba Gabba while I packed up the car. Once we were all ready, we hit the road for Redding, where we stopped at the Turtle Bay Exploration Center. Giovanni was fascinated by the amazing park and wildlife inside of the exploration center and by the beautiful Sun Dial Bridge adjacent to the center. We took a bunch of pictures and I couldn’t believe that 3 hours had passed by the time we got back in the car. Next stop was In N Out where we met my uncle that lives in Redding before hitting the road for my moms house in Concord, Ca. We got to grandmas house at about 7pm and got Giovanni bathed, fed and in his jammies so he could begin unwinding for the long drive.

Throughout our whole stay in the bay area, We were blessed with beautiful, sunny, 75 degree weather and the days seemed endless as we visited with family, went on trips to the park and out to eat, visited the beach in Santa Cruz and even squeezed in an impromptu baby shower. Giovanni’s teen aged cousins showered him with attention and he got to bond with his grandma who just could not get enough of his dimpled smile and funny, outgoing personality. Giovanni also got to spend time with both his great grandma Dee and great grandpa Lou who adore him. As for me, I was blessed with this amazing, once in a lifetime experience of true one on one bonding with my only son before his little brother arrives in just a few short months. A memory that stands out in particular is of Giovanni and I napping at my moms house one afternoon. When he woke up, he was turned away from me and started to fuss. I whispered his name and he turned towards me, smiled and gave me the biggest hug while nodding his head up and down as if to say, “yes, now this is just right” J

I could not have asked for a more perfect time and I will treasure always the memories of signing songs to him while on the road, waking up each day at my moms to his happy sounds and his angelic face smiling at me from the pack N play and feeling his soft, warm, toddler arms around my neck when he would stop to hug me during the day or as he drifted off to sleep at night. Was the trip a lot of work? Definitely! Am I exhausted? You know I am. Would I have changed one single minute of it? No way!

Since we have returned home it has been torture to tear myself away from Giovanni for even a few hours to go to work each day but the thoughts of our amazing trip still burn bright in my mind, helping me through the dreary hours away from home and giving me something to look forward to when I return each night and get to hold my baby tight and rock him to sleep at night. When baby Isaiah arrives in April, I have no doubt that he and Giovanni will be the best of friends and that, once again, my heart will expand to a level of love and bonding that I didn’t know I was capable of. But, in my heart, my mind and my soul, I will never forget the smiles, the memories, the love and the closeness that my first born and I shared, just the two of us, on this very special trip.

All the love I have, I give to you, my sweet baby!

-New Mommy in Town

The Luckiest Time of the Year

Every day, in my mind, the same voice, “Must write more, must record these fleeting moments as they occur so that someday I can relive them through words”. And every day the same weary response, “I worked so hard today, so tired. I will write tomorrow.” Alas, tomorrow comes and there are no words, no memories recorded, no new page in the baby book or witty blog to remind me of the time that is flying by much too fast. So, today at least, fueled by annoyance with myself that my last baby book entry for Giovanni was his FIRST birthday, today, I will write.

Giovanni is growing up so fast, too fast, before his doting mother and father’s eyes. He is a beautiful boy with sparkling eyes that appear dark brown but, when the sunlight hits them just right, they are the most amazing hazel color, filled with hues of green and gold. He turned 2 on November 16th and we had a pizza/play land extravaganza at Out of this World in Hillsboro on the 16th followed by a big home birthday bash for him the following Saturday. The party was a big success with a custom made basketball cake, play doh sculpture making contests, musical chairs, pin the nose on the clown, and of course lots and lots of friends and food in the house. The highlight of G’s party was when his dad presented to him a wooden table top train set, each piece lovingly picked out and the table hand painted by Johnny. Johnny had spent weeks on this special gift and the pure, innocent joy on G’s face as he ran towards the set made all the hard work more than worth it.

Not to be overshadowed by birthday fun, Thanksgiving quickly came rolling in. G was getting over a cold and slept most of Thanksgiving day while we made a 13 lb turkey accessorized with stuffing, green bean casserole, scalloped potatoes and macaroni and cheese. Johnny watched football most of the day and it was a beautiful, relaxing time for our family. The Saturday following Thanksgiving we took Giovanni to cut down a tree at a Christmas Tree Farm. The outing was far from the idyllic adventure we had imagined with Giovanni crying to be held by his father the whole time, whining, falling in the mud and acting generally perturbed that we would dare take him out when he was just getting over his Thanksgiving cold. We picked out a medium sized tree quickly and got it home to get our cranky boy out of the cold and down for a nap. The next day I took Giovanni to Target where he picked out his first ornament. It is an adorable little blue penguin and I wrote the date and Giovanni’s name in glitter glue on the back. The next morning, when G came downstairs and saw his ornament hanging on the tree he kept pointing and shouting “Bood” (translation: Bird) and “Tee” (translation: Tree).

Along with all of the wonderful holiday memories we are making this year, there are 2 more that stand out in my mind. The other day Johnny and I took Giovanni out to breakfast at a little place on Hawthorne that we both enjoy. The name of the restaurant is the Saucer Cup. Giovanni had some blueberry coffee cake while Johnny and I enjoyed a garden scramble and a breakfast sandwich. After breakfast we decided to walk down Hawthorne and look at shops. It was the first sunny day in a long time and, although a bit chilly, the warm sun felt fantastic in contrast and we were all in a good mood. Giovanni wanted Johnny to hold him and I turned this into a game of tag with Johnny running ahead of us, Giovanni running after him and me running after Giovanni. When he would catch up to Johnny, Johnny would swoop him up and I would come running up from behind to tickle Giovanni while he laughed hysterically, G looked so cute with his little golden curls bouncing in the wind while Johnny ran with him. We took him to a toy shop called Kids At Heart where they had the most amazing selection of unique, quality children toys. Johnny bought Giovanni’s Christmas presents there (a little cloth bowling ball set and a wind up boat that goes in the water for bath time). We also got him a tiny cat figurine (background: G is OBSESSSED with cats, our cat Jazz, included). The whole ride home Giovanni carried the cat figurine in his hand, staring at it and saying “Cat” repeatedly. The next morning I had to laugh when, getting G out of his crib, I found the cat figurine in his bed, near his pillow. He must have taken it to bed with him for his nap the previous day.

Yesterday, at my work, they had the 29th annual Festival of Trees put on by Providence. I had to work but Johnny brought Giovanni (all snug in his brand new stroller-an early Christmas present from my dad) down to the event and Giovanni got to decorate his own cookie, visit with Santa (still not a fan-see last years holiday post) and visit the Teddy Bear hospital where they gave him a free teddy bear and bandaged up any boo boos it may have incurred in the process of shipping and handling. It was so great to take a small break from work and visit with my boys. Giovanni was tired but looked so comfy in his cushiony brown and green stroller complete with snack tray, cup holder and a warm blanket to snuggle into.

This holiday season has been so full of memories and adventures (and it’s not even Christmas yet). I am so thankful this year for the little things , like a child’s first ornament he picked himself, a new stroller so my baby travels in comfort, a cat figurine and family to share the love with. In the bigger picture, I am overjoyed with the feeling of new life growing inside of me. Every flutter and kick jumpstarts my heart and my imagination into daydreams about the feeling of snuggling, caring for and bonding with this soon to arrive new born bundle. I am so blessed to have a life overflowing with love. Even if some of the pages in the baby book go blank, or a month or two goes by without a blog entry. I carry each memory with me, in my heart. That way, no matter where I am in the world or what my circumstances, I will always have them close by to remind me of just how lucky I am.

Happy Holidays!

-New Mommy In Town

Oh happy Day! I am 3 months pregnant with our 2nd child. :)

As I watch my almost 2 year old son watching other kids at the park and striving to interact with siblings that he sees in the same way that he sees them interacting, the thought of our impending addition makes me so happy for him, for me, and for our little growing family as a whole. What has not been making me so happy is the toughness of this pregnancy thus far. I will openly admit that I underestimated how hard it would be to have a baby still in diapers and a huge increase in work hours while being pregnant. Besides being completely sleep deprived, feeling insanely nauseous, getting frequent headaches and heartburn and feeling wound up as tight as a steel drum, I am doing great. But it is the aforementioned feelings that have been getting to me. I find myself yearning for the days of my first pregnancy where I woke up at 9, ate some breakfast, took a nap until 1, watched some TV, read, took a walk, cleaned my house and had my feet up, relaxing before bed by 9pm. If I did have any nausea or discomfort with that pregnancy it is no wonder that I do not remember because I was too busy sleeping and relaxing all the time.

Well, so here I am, not feeling great, not able to drink much water, fairly stressed and even more stressed that I am not eating right, sleeping right or doing much of anything right for this baby. And through it all, the Portland rain has started with no end in sight, my son seems to have the energy of 10 two year olds and mommy is plain old exhausted. I pray that, when this baby finally arrives, they will quickly forget that they were forced to subsist on toast, pizza and saltines for 3 months because it was all mommy could stomach, or that they were deprived of much water for their first trimester because iced tea and diet Pepsi were all mommy could stand the thought of drinking. Even further, I hope they will have forgotten the endless stream of tums and the occasional coffee to keep me from falling asleep at work.

Baby, if you can hear this (or sense this rather), I apologize. I am truly trying my best no matter what all those mommy advice websites say about my actions. At this point, you are just a tiny, pea sized, alien looking being, but you are already so loved. Your beautiful 7 week sonogram picture is on our refrigerator, showing you resting comfortably. I have told your big brother that you are in my tummy and every day he pulls up my shirt and puts his hand on my belly to "visit" you. We are all eagerly awaiting your arrival. And don't fret little one, from everything I have heard, the nausea should let up here soon and mommy will be back to her perky, productive, healthy self! Lots of love from your dad, mom and your amazing big brother Giovanni. We love you and can barely wait the 6 long months until we get to meet you!

XOXO-Mommy

Having grown up being taken to church every Sunday and hearing person after person preach at me without seeing them living by the words they were speaking led me to turn away from the church for a very long time. I felt like my relationship with God was my business and I didn't want to be around people that would judge me or judge anyone for that matter. after all, it is not our place to judge others, it is our place to show the fruits of the spirit (love, patience, forgiveness, etc...) and to leave any judging up to God.

Well, after many years of not going to church, after i had my son i felt a real pull to not only find a community of believers where I could be myself, make friends and worship as i wished to, but also to find a place where my son would be raised among religious beliefs that matched my own. One Sunday morning, at my mother's urging, i took a chance and typed a search into Google for churches near my house that offered childcare. I found one nearby and I liked the name of the church so I took a chance and went. What I found there blew me away. In honor of the 4th of July, this church was having their service outside, followed by a children's bike parade and a potluck. I dropped my son off at the daycare where a group of children his age gathered around him showing him toys and greeting him with their sweet toddler giggles and smiles. The sermon was amazing as the preacher spoke of giving without an audience and doing things for god rather than calling attention to ourselves. The pastor was funny, lighthearted and down to earth. I felt an immediate connection and application between what he was saying and what i had always believed. the sermon closed with everyone being invited to bow their heads and, if they wished, to say out loud a prayer for our government and our leaders. Tears streamed down my face as i heard person after person approach the troubles of our world and the conflicts we face from a place of love and prayer rather than from a place of fear or anger. After the service I stayed for the potluck and i witnessed an outpouring of offerings from the congregation that resulted in a beautiful children's parade and a delicious lunch. I sat and spoke with two elderly women, one that had been attending this church since the 50's except for a 10 year period when she lived in Africa as a missionary. The other, it turned out, had lived in my hometown for 5 years where her and her husband had started a church. The women asked me what church I had gone to before this one and i openly admitted that I had not gone to church for a very long time and was honest about my reasons why. they simply nodded their heads as I spoke and then expressed their happiness for having my presence at their church this day and told me they looked forward to seeing me again next Sunday. As I left, i felt hungry to come back and feel that sense of acceptance and closeness to God from people that were living what they spoke about.

the next Sunday, after having a grueling week filled with work, household chores, countless arguments with my husband, conflict with my stepson and a grumpy teething baby on my hands, I returned to church by myself feeling sad, defeated, stressed to the max. On my way to church, i was praying that God would change my household's hearts so that we could work as a cohesive unit. That day, a guest pastor recited the Lord's Prayer and then went through, line by line, looking deeper into the meaning of each verse. He spoke of the fact that,if we are praying for someone or something, we need to be prepared to be the answer to that prayer. When he recited the line about giving us this day our daily bread he went on to say that, when god was in the desert, the devil knew he was hungry and came to him to tempt him saying, "Aren't you the saviour that can turn rock into bread? if you are hungry, why don't you do that?" He spoke of how god refused to give into the devil because he was full of the word of God and that, if we are to resist the devil trying to tempt us by taking advantage of what we are hungry for (love, money, success) we need to be full of the word of god (our daily bread) so that we will not be tempted by our hunger. He spoke about our hearts being like a cup and that, if our cups are full of anger, resentment or sadness that we are holding onto, we have no room for the love and light of God's presence so we must take our cups and pour our hearts out to God. It turns out the man that was speaking has been a member of this church for several years and, 5 years ago he moved himself, his wife and his 4 children to China where they live as Missionaries, in the last 5 years, they have started a rehabilitation center, a garden and a ministry where they invite strangers (or angels as he called them) into their home to fellowship. the mans wife showed a slide show of their life in china and you could see how them living through the spirit has blessed their family and their lives.

I left the service that day feeling renewed. I had cried out to god (silently of course) throughout the service and my heart felt renewed, empty and full of space for the word of God to fill me and work through me). When I got home I had a long talk with my husband and then with our stepson where we laid out ground rules for how we would treat each other and our home. We agreed that once a week, each of us would choose an activity that the whole family could enjoy together. My husband and my stepson agreed to go to church with me twice a week and my stepson enrolled in a weekly youth group.

Of course this is fairly new to us and i do feel that i and my family will continue to grow and blossom with the help of the lord but already, i can feel a difference in how we are interacting with each other, how we speak to each other and even in my own reactions to things that occur. My husband, who has a fairly new side business recently found out that, due to something he had had installed on his brand new car by a "friend" damages had been caused to his car and it was going to cost him $1200 out of pocket to repair. In the past my husband would have been really upset by something like this and may have taken it out on people that had nothing to do with it. So, imagine my surprise and delight when my husband stayed calm and even praised Jesus on the ride home that, due to his side business which this "friend" had helped him start he had enough money to pay for the car repairs without having to dip into savings. When I heard him give thanks to god, even under circumstances that were not ideal I knew that my prayers were working and i know that, if we continue to walk on this path, displaying the fruits of the spirit and putting our trust in god, we will surely be blessed.

Looking forward to the future!

-New mommy in Town

Letter To My Son 6.26.2011 (18 months)

To my beautiful boy,

Last night as I was trying to get to sleep I kept finding images and thoughts of you entering my mind and filling me with happiness. The sense of joy, wonder and well being that you bring to me is indescribable. When I wake up in the morning my first thought is of you. I wonder if you are up and, if you're not I wonder how long until you wake up and I can hang out with you. When I hear your happy sounds fill the air I go into your room and find you standing in your crib, smiling and reaching your arms out to me. I pick you up and you rest your head on my shoulder. You have started giving the most amazing hugs. You wrap your arms tightly around my neck and we sway gently together, me rubbing your back, holding you close and savoring every moment. When we are in the store or at the park there will be times when I lean in close to you to tell you I love you or to tie your shoe and you will reach out your arms, pull my face close to yours and rest your forehead on mine. I am so in awe of you and so delighted in your every giggle, new expression and exclamation. Today, I left the refrigerator door open while grabbing some items from the pantry and, when I looked over at you, I discovered that you had taken out a carton of eggs and were happily smashing each one on the floor and rubbing your hands in it. You are the master of being very quiet while being up to no good and it is a good lesson to me to always be on the lookout! You LOVE getting your hands dirty, playing outside and shrieking at the top of your lungs when something exciting catches your eye. You love birds and are not afraid to show it. The other day, when we pulled up to the park and I took your seat belt off and let you out, you ran squealing across the grass with your finger pointed at the sky looking at a group of birds that were flying away. You are generally sweet with other kids but you are starting to test your limits with others and will sometimes pull or push another child on the playground and will then quickly look around to see if mama has noticed (which she usually has!). You love to clap your hands, love to laugh and love to have others looking at you. If you notice that you have an audience you will give a mischievous grin and show off some of your unique dance moves (these moves usually consist of you turning yourself in a small circle before falling down and beaming your big bright smile). Everyone loves your smile and your beautiful dimples. Trips to the store, the park or the mall never fail to draw comments on how cute you are and these comments certainly don't go unnoticed by you as you beam and coo at each and every admirer. You have such a bright happy spirit and I pray you never lose that magnetic light that makes me so proud to be your mama. You were born with the sweet strong spirit of a leader and I would love nothing more than to watch you cultivate that so that others that are having trouble finding their way might use your light to guide them. One of your favorite activities is being read to and you will often bring me one of your favorite books (favorites include the Jolly Barnyard and Baby Bear Baby Bear What Do you See) you will then curl up next to me while I read each book to you a couple times through.

Raising a child is definitely work but the joy I get from being with you hardly feels like work to me and when I am away from you my heart aches to be with you and to feel the peace and happiness that I only know when I am with you. I love the bond that we share. You are everything to me. I have never known a love like this and did not even know that I was capable of such deep, unconditional love. Thank you for being in my life and for always aspiring me to want to reach further, do better and be more...for you.

With the greatest love always,

Your mama :)