To Sleep or Not To Sleep...

My son is now 3 months old. About a week before his 3 month birthday, I decided that co-sleeping was no longer an option, not only did my son seem uncomfortable as he grunted, gasped and kicked my husband and I all night, desperately trying to free himself from the positioning wedge we had him propped up on (acid reflux be damned) but two and a half months of getting an average of three hours of sleep (and not consecutive hours either mind you) was turning me into a complete wreck I couldn't think straight during the day, was losing patience with both my son and my husband and falling behind at work.

I spoke with my husband and then looked up sleep methods for training infants to sleep in their cribs. I decided to try the Ferber method. The Ferber method advises parents to pick a time when they are not desperate for sleep and to begin putting their child in his or her own bed in increasing 5 minute increments. For example, the first night you would put your child down in their own bed and leave the room. If they cry, you wait five minutes before going in, comforting them, putting them back down and leaving the room again. If they cry again, you wait 10 minutes before going in, comforting them and getting them back down. You max out the time that you will let them cry at 15 minutes. The next night, you increase the length between visits in 5 minute increments (i.e. let them cry for 10 minutes, then 15, maxing out at 20).

The first night, the baby cried each time we left him. After an hour and a half of crying/comforting and crying again, the baby fell asleep on his own and slept five hours straight. The next night he cried intensely for 15 minutes before falling asleep, again for five hours. This night was the hardest because of the intensity of the crying. It does break any parents heart to hear their child crying, but my husband and I were determined that not only would sleeping in his own bed be best for the baby as he would be more comfortable and there would be less safety risks, but it would benefit us as well as I would be more rested, have more patience and would avoid losing my job due to mistakes caused by lack of sleep. By the third night, the baby did not cry when we put him in his crib and he again slept a full five hours. After he would sleep five hours I would change him, feed him, and rock him until he became sleepy before putting him back down again. I began noticing that he was happier during the day, was getting on more of a schedule and seemed well rested in the mornings. He also began taking his afternoon naps in his crib without fussing. After a week of sleeping from 9pm-3.am each night, he slept a full 8 hours. Heaven!My husband and I have our bed back again and I am no longer cranky, tired and absentminded all day from lack of sleep.

In my opinion, when a parent is ready and anxiety free enough to train their child to sleep in their own bed, I don't know why any parent wouldn't use this method. However, in reading blogs pertaining to this practice, it seems that there is a large percentage of parents that feel this method is cruel, scarring and traumatic to children. When I see my child's bright eyes and happy smile in the morning and see that he has had a comfortable nights sleep, I can't imagine how he is scarred by sleeping in his own bed. I also don't think he will remember a total of maybe two hours of crying as a baby for the rest of his life. I have talked to parents of two and three year old children that say they wish they had tried something like this earlier and complain that their toddlers are still sleeping in their parents bed and not sleeping through the night.

Obviously, it is every parents decision how and when they decide to try and get their children to sleep in their own beds but this route worked for us and has been a real blessing. Baby, mommy and daddy are reaping the benefits of of sleep filled nights and all are thriving because of it. Whatever it is that you choose to do, I wish every new mom lots of sleep, however you manage to get it. Happy mommies create happy babies!

Good Luck and Good Night

-New Mommy in Town

The Bjorn identity

Mothers. We come in all shapes and sizes, all different ethnicity's from all walks of life. Why then is it so easy for moms to be duped into thinking that we have to fall into the perfectly manicured, cookie cutter, Leave it to Beaver image of moms that is constantly being fed to us by the media, acquaintances or worst of all, our own inner "mean girl"?

The other day found my husband and I walking through a beautiful park, bathed in sunshine. You could not have asked for a more beautiful setting. The park included breathtaking redwoods, weeping willows and maple trees lining the banks of several small, mirror smooth ponds. I should have been ecstatic to be walking on my own two legs through such beauty with the man I love and our healthy, happy, beautiful baby boy. I should have not had a care in the world. Yet as we wandered, i couldn't help but compare myself to other moms and dads that I saw walking by. I saw two moms that were walking with their perfectly symmetrical baby Bjorn's strapped to their perfectly shaped bodies and I wondered why, when I strap my baby Bjorn on, it always seems to be at a bit of an angle, or the baby always seems to be hanging a little low. Why were their babies not fussing or spitting up on them. And how, in the world, did they manage to lose that baby weight so fast. couple after couple seemed to stroll by with their bright white smiles and their designer strollers, making me ever more aware of my tangled hair, tired eyes and second hand stroller. I thought about a woman i had met a few weeks before who told me that her son had had 100 people at his first birthday. I wondered if my son would be scarred for life by the fact that he might only have 10 attendees, or even worse just mom and dad and a homemade cake.

After we had returned home, I took some time to reflect on the things I had noticed and to weigh my insecurities against reality. Will my son grow up to be a horrible person because his Baby Bjorn hung slightly low and to the left? Will he look back on his second hand stroller with disgust and want nothing to do with me? Will he hate the thought of celebrating another birthday ever again because of the lack of attendance at his first. ummmmm...probably not. And even the fact that I was giving any breathing room to these silly thoughts and made up ideals was ridiculous. Who started the myth that we as mothers have to be perfect all the time, that without designer things, we're not just as good a mom as the next mom?

I have never been perfect, nor will I ever be perfect, nor do I believe that anyone or anything is perfect. So I will do my best and continue on with tired eyes and the occasional mop of unbrushed hair, I will stop comparing what I don't have and instead be grateful for what I do have. I will teach my son that it is what is on the inside, not the outside that is most important. I will do my best to teach him to be a good, wise, strong person and hope that it catches on. And, someday, should he ever pass someone in a park, holding a perfectly aligned Baby Bjorn, with perfectly white teeth, manicured nails, impeccable hair and an amazing "no one can tell that I just had a baby" body and stop to ask, "is that how you looked when I was little mommy?" I will tell him no. I will tell him that sometimes mommy was tired, or forgot to brush her hair, or walked out of the house without a stitch of makeup on, but that I never forgot what was really important: his happiness, his safety, his health. And when i tell him this, I won't feel even the least bit guilty about it :)

To imperfect mothers, everywhere

-New Mommy in Town

Giovanni Elijah Cabrera- The cutest baby on the block- and maybe in the whole world!

Of course I may be just a teensy bit biased!





Giovammi Elijah Cabrera- Est. 11/16/2009

Every day
Something new
A laugh, a smile
a lingering gaze.
You are growing so fast
and I am so amazed and honored
that I am able to bear witness
to the magic
that is your life!

-Giovanni's Mommy

Things Remembered

A small list of things that I don't want to forget about my baby boy-

• The way my baby smiles when I am taking esp good care of him or the way he smiles back at me when I smile at him.


• The way he looks with eyes full of wonder at new things/people


• His smell


• The warmth of his body when he's lying next to me or snuggling close


• His tiny feet and hands


• His big, beautiful eyes and his funny expressions


• The little gurgles, grunts and sighs he emits when trying to communicate with us


• The big, gulping breaths he takes when we are comforting him from a crying fit


• The brightness of his eyes when he first wakes int he morning


• His adorable little dimples


• Watching his hair and eyebrows fill in


• Tummy time


• Taking long walks with him


• His solemn little stares as he takes it all in


• His round cheeks and chubby little face


• Giving him baths and watching him happily splash around


• Hanging out and playing with him as he kicks his legs, waves his little fists and turns his head from side to side


• Seeing the kick he gets out of the smallest things (a bright toy, music he likes, an engaging book).

I am so looking forward to teaching him new things, introducing him to new experiences and watching him discover the world around him!!!

Here's to you my baby boy. To the person you are, the person you were (only two short months ago) and the person you will become. Every day with you is an adventure. I love you!

-New Mommy in Town

Time Flies

Teach, your children well

And feed them on your dreams

The one they pick

The one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why

If they told you, you would die

So just look at them and sigh

And know they love you..."

About a month ago, when I was in the throes of brand new motherhood and brooding over every cry, gasp and sigh that my baby emitted, I got a call from one of my favorite aunties, inquiring as to how I was doing. I admitted to her that I was struggling. A heavy combination of sleep deprivation, forgetting to eat and not having a chance to bathe as frequently as I was used to had left me wondering if I was cut out for the hefty job of motherhood. My aunt assured me that all new moms face these same thoughts and also told me that I would miss these times. "What?" I questioned her incredulously, "why would anyone miss THIS?" My aunt chuckled as she sagely replied, "I know it sounds crazy, but you will miss it. You spend the first few months bonding so intensely with your child and then you spend the next 18 years learning to let go."

These words struck a cord with me and, in the days and weeks that have followed, I have begun to see things differently. I have stopped looking at every cry as a reason to worry incessantly and rather have begun to really listen to his cries, notice his smiles and respond to his oohs and ahhs. In response I can tell that he is learning to trust me and he cries less and smiles more. He looks up at me and shows signs of being comforted and feeling secure. I have had to push myself to learn how to see things through the eyes of a child again and suddenly dancing around the living room to children's music or going to the park and looking at birds or reading books about the color blue don't seem like tedious silly tasks to me anymore but rather now seem like new adventures and learning experiences to look forward to and savor.

I have been striving lately to face each day as a chance to do something new and exciting (even if it is just strapping on a baby bjorn and sweeping the kitchen floor). Because, while changing poopy diapers all day or rocking a sleeping baby for hours or wiping drool off my baby's chin for the umpteenth time might not be what I would most like to be doing, each of these important task carries with it a moment that I will never have again and each moment carries with it a chance to teach my baby to trust, to learn, to feel secure. I have been blessed with the enormous responsibility of raising a child and I want to take that responsibility seriously. I may never have these small chances to hold my baby, or see his smile or play with him again, as none of us know what the future holds. These days will go quickly and soon, he will be walking, then talking, then he will be in school and making friends and learning to be his own person and all too soon, he won't won't want me to cuddle him or to rock him or sing to him.

So mothers, hold your children close. cradle them, protect them, sing to them, soothe them, set guidelines for them, teach them, love them. Take time every day to kiss them, play with them, tell them that you love them. That way, you can watch with pride as they grow into the people they will become and you will always have the memories of how you helped them along the way to warm your heart and bring them back to you, regardless of how far they may wander away from home.

May god bless all mommies (and daddies too) everywhere!

-New Mommy in Town

Baby on Board

Our son came into the world at 3:15am on November 16th, 2009. My due date of November 8th had come and gone by then, and, when I was told on November 10th that I was not at all dilated and that a due date could not be determined, I made the decision to have my labor induced. This decision was made partly due to financial reasons. I could only take one month off work and I had already been off for almost a week. I wanted to have as much time at home with the baby as possible. So, on Sunday, November 15th, a little after Midnight, my husband and I checked into the Sunnyside Kasier Labor and Delivery Ward in Clackamas Oregon and settled into the room where our son would soon (we hoped it would be soon anyway) be making his grand entrance.

The doctors gave me a pill at almost 1am that was supposed to jump start my contractions. They explained that once my contractions were coming at an optimal rate, they would get me started on pitocin. At 8am on November 15th, they started me on pitocin. They started me at 2 drops an hour. They would check on me every hour to see if the dosage needed to be increased. And oh did they increase it. By 5:30pm, they had me on 12 drops an hour (this sounded like a lot to me but apparently I was lucky as the nurse mentioned that some patients have to have up to 20 drops per hour). By this point I had gone from being not at all dilated at 7am to 3cm at 5:30pm. My contractions seemed to be off the chart and, although I was utilizing the birthing ball, the bathtub and my breathing exercises by that point, nothing seemed to be able to alleviate the pain of the contractions. My husband sat patiently by my side as the hours ticked by and I alternated between squeezing the circulation from his hands, telling him I loved him and not wanting him in the room. My contractions were coming 60 seconds apart and lasting about 30 seconds each. Hour after hour of this had broken me down and I found myself sobbing in the bathtub, just wanting the pain to subside.

At around 6pm, the lovely nurse and midwife that would eventually deliver our baby came in to see how I was doing. Upon seeing my husbands hand clenched in mine and seeing the distress that I was in, the midwife called in the anesthesiologist to give me my epidural. The next few hours after that were a happy, hazy blur. I didn't feel anything and I slept peacefully as my contractions progressed. The nurse and midwife woke me up occasionally to get my vitals. At around Midnight, the nurse called the midwife in to address a concern regarding the baby's heartbeat, the midwife acknowledged that concern and broke my water. The nurse had me start pushing and had me continue to do so until about 1am at which point she noted that the baby was not far enough down and suggested I sleep for a while longer. The nurse and the midwife came back in at 2am and had me begin pushing again. I don't ever remember such a strange experience as giving birth. I felt nauseous and so thirsty. I was *pushing* as hard as I could but the nurse kept prompting me to push more (which I don't think was possible). I was frustrated and scared and overwhelmed by the burning sensation of my body opening to accommodate the baby as well as the incredible ball of pressure that I was feeling.

At about 3:00am the nurse let us know that she could see the head crowning and asked if I wanted to reach down and feel it. At that point, the pressure and burning sensations I was feeling were so great that the last thing I wanted to do was to reach down and feel the baby's head so I opted to just keep pushing. At 3:15am, the baby's head fully emerged and I felt a warm gush as the body followed. I didn't hear the baby crying and the midwife was speaking urgently to the nurse. I panicked as I realized that the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck (I would later find out that the cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times). After they cut the cord, he still did not cry for a moment or two and the world seemed to stop. Suddenly, I heard his cry and I lay back on the bed exhausted but relieved. We had done it and our son was finally here!

The nurse took Johnny aside and they weighed Giovanni, brushed his feet with ink to get his footprints, and gave him a sponge bath. They then handed him to me and I held his bare skin to mine and kissed his head. I spoke to him gently and he seemed to recognize my voice. He looked at me with his big, trusting eyes and snuggled against me. I remember thinking that he just had the most perfect, beautiful little face and features.

Giovanni's first few weeks at home have not been without trial. I got an infection in my left breast, Johnny (my husband) nearly cut off his thumb in a freak accident, and baby G has had bouts of colic and acid reflux that span from screaming fits to sleepless nights. We are all learning though, to work together as a family, as a team to try and understand each other and get used to this new life. Johnny and I are beginning to fall in love with the baby and take turns rocking him, singing to him and snuggling next to him in play and in sleep.

This baby is a precious gift and as he becomes more alert and aware and astounds us with the knowledge that he was created inside of me and that we have been entrusted with the responsibility of raising him and teaching him about the world around him, I can't help but to fall ever more madly in love with him. Watching him discover the world around him makes me feel like, in some ways, I am discovering it for the first time too.

Welcome to the world Giovanni Elijah Cabrera!

-New Mommy in Town

Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe Easy

I cannot believe that my due date is a mere 7 days away (hopefully not longer!). I am feeling many uncomfortable pangs these days, everything from mild back pain to heartburn to excruciating pelvic pressure. All I can do is keep myself occupied, continue to ready the house for baby and try to get some sleep in here and there.

As the date approaches, I am getting more nervous, excited too, but a bit anxious. I try not to read TOO much information about babies these days and I am relying more on what my doctor tells me at each visit rather than the stack of printed materials they shower me with. Not that I don't enjoy reading about how to make sure baby's umbilical cor doesn't get infected, how to install a car seat properly, how to breastfeed properly and how to protect against SIDS, Flat Head Syndrome and Rickets all in one sitting, but I find that too much information, taken in all at once is more conducive to a full blown anxiety attack than to feeling like a well informed, confident parent.

So...as the days tick by, I have been looking around our nursery with a sense of pride at all the preparation that we have gotten done, I wonder at every quiet, peaceful moment with my husband, "is this the last one of these we'll have" and I get a little anxious thinking about this whole new life we are entering into. But above all, I am trying to keep the faith. Faith that my marriage will be strong enough to withstand sleepless nights along with a mountain of chores and bills, faith that my baby will be healthy and strong, faith that together my husband and I will raise a well adjusted child that will choose the moral high ground no matter what this crazy world might try to throw at him. I am realizing that now, more than ever, I need to stay present, live in the moment and take things one day at a time. All I can do is try my best and hope that with a mountain of faith, a whole lot of patience, and a little wisdom, everything will be all right!!

So here, as I begin, just like so many women before me have and countless women after me will, an anxious but eager warrior, facing the unknown with a sense of trepidation and wonder, committing to protect my baby from environmental pollutants, flat head syndrome, buck teeth, rickets and vitamin D deficiency, I will use the tools that life has given me to try and figure it all out in time. Throughout this journey, I will continue to work with my doctors, my husband, my baby and my own best instincts to provide my child with the best life that I can provide him.

In doing this, I can rest assured of at least this much- that at the end of the day, although I might be new to this, and although situations may be thrown at me that I have no idea how to handle, I will pray for wisdom, do my best and continue to observe life (mine, my husbands and my child's) as it unfold around me, exactly as God has intended it to.

Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe Easy,

-New Mommy in Town