I heard from a friend today who mentioned that, in many ways, it is easier to be single than to be in a relationship. I agree. Being in a relationship means looking out for, considering the feelings of, budgeting for, buying for, etc...2, 3 or even more people. Every day I see more and more why they say that marriage and family is "work". Suddenly you have to consider the feelings and the effect your actions will have on your significant other and your children before any decision you make, you double your income and triple or quadruple your expenses. You have to divide chores, bills, responsibilities and duties. You have to provide guidance and be strong even when you are at your weakest. I can't even imagine how hard it gets when you have to begin worrying about such "real issues" as illness, social security benefits,medicare, etc...Aye yay yay. The thought of all that work alone can be enough to make even those most fond of the idea of committing run in the opposite direction when trying to decide whether to partner up.
But what is the flip side of all that "work"? I look at my beautiful grandmother who raised 4 children and now has 4 son and daughter in laws, 13 grand kids and a great grand baby on the way. I think about how close our family is and how we visit regularly and support each other through the good times and the bad. I recently watched my aunt and uncle renew their vows after 30 years of marriage (their 4 children served as their wedding "party) and the original minister that married them 30 years ago performed this ceremony. Many tears were shed in the audience as my uncle stated that he knew 30 years ago and he is even more sure now, that my aunt is the only woman for him while a slide show playing behind them showcased snapshots of their lives together accompanied by a song performed by their teenage daughter.
I looked over at my grandmother during the ceremony and wondered if there was any way that she could have predicted the many lives her life and love would create and touch over the span of her lifetime. Were it not for her, none of us would be here.
Although it is true that partnerships between lovers, friends, husbands and wives, may not last, and loving others can mean opening yourself up to an immeasurable amount of heartache, loss, sadness. work and vulnerability it can also mean opening yourself up to a world of love, laughter, creation and joy that in my book, is all that will really matter in the long run.
When I think of all the work that entering into marriage means, I also think about the incredible love, friendship and trust that my husband and I have built up in just the 6 years we have been together. I think of our baby that is on the way and the love we already have for him. I picture the sweet things that my husband does for me (kissing my belly each morning, rubbing my feet at night, greeting me with a big hug and kiss at the door each night, sending me sweet text messages during the day). I envision the life that is to come for us and the lives and memories that our love will create, and I can't imagine wanting things any other way...
Wishing Life, Love and Laughter for all of you,
-New Mommy in Town
