As the dog days of Summer slowly give way to the crisp, clean days of Fall (my favorite season) I am feeling inspired and invigorated by the sense that magical happenings are on the horizon for, not only myself, but for my family and my loved ones as well. Not only will I be welcoming my beautiful boy into the world in just a few short weeks (or less depending on what fate has in store for me). But I have lately been shrouded in a cloak of warn, fuzzy feelings and a sense of security like I have rarely felt before.Part of this, I know is due to the time of year and the weather. How can one not be inspired when met with beautiful, blue, cloudless skies each morning, a cool breeze, the sound of the wind at their back as they walk along and the site of children already in Halloween costumes as they accompany their parents on errands or a weekend trip to the pumpkin patch. The leaves are beginning to change, holding the promise of soon filling the Columbia River Gorge and surrounding areas with breathtaking amber-gold beauty.
As reality begins to settle in around me and I realize that soon, I will be facing the longest and most important journey of my life. I am filled not with anxiety or fear but with an overwhelming sense of well being and freedom. I just instinctively know that my child and I will have an intensely close bond and I am aching to meet him, hold him close to me and begin to help shape him into the man that he will become. I feel like I will be a good mom and I am so thankful that my current work hours are such that I can afford the time to get to know my son and learn how to be a mother to him.
This feeling of peace has been a welcome change, as or the last month or so, I had found myself itching to return to a full time job and the money that comes with it. However, as my due date fast approaches, that urgency has been calmed and replaced with a sense that everything is happening and will happen as it should and that, when the time is right for me and my family, everything will fall into place just as it is meant to. To try and put this feeling into words that are relateable, it is almost as though I were being held for a time, in the giant fist of the universe, surrounded by darkness and feeling lost and unsure. But, in the last month, that grasp has been slowly opening. And with every finger that lays itself flat around me, I am being illuminated by light and positivity, assuring me that I am in and have been traveling towards the place I was supposed to be all along.
To add to my joy, I have been blessed lately with a close time of bonding and sharing these last quiet days with my husband. I feel very close to him these days and I thank God for bringing us together and allowing us this journey together.
It is not just my own life for which I feel these feelings of well being. My mother, who is an avid writer and childcare provider, has been busy writing up a storm and looking for childcare work. She will be coming up for a month after the baby is born and her presence will be a welcome, much needed gift during what is sure to be a blessed, yet trying time. My dad, a cross country truck driver has a schedule now where he is afforded the time and resources he needs to begin to put down some roots of his own and make some positive changes in his life. My husbands job is going well and we thank God for the good fortune of him having steady, well paying work in these trying times.
So, as the days roll on and the seasons change, I hope that this sense of well being and peace not only continue to permeate and guide my own life, but the lives of all that share this small space called earth. I will be praying that this holiday season brings a wealth of love to all, bringing families together and in spring us to share our time or whatever resources we may have with those around us that are less fortunate.
And to all, a Good Night :)
-New Mommy in Town
