Remembering To Be Grateful...

It seems like, no matter how many blessings one has, it is still sometimes hard to remember to be grateful. The bills keep coming, the house is never clean enough, the kids are throwing tantrums, etc...therefore, it is imperative to constatntly be assessing priorities, and taking the time to find and accentuate the good in every situation and to let go of the bad. This is all that is needed for a happy life. Deciding to be happy can be hard work, but once you have dedicated yourself to it, it becomes a habit, and then a lifestyle and then, eventually it is second nature and takes no thought at all. In that vein, i am deciding to see the good. I am choosing to be happy. My house may never be spotless but it is scattered with my babies toys; the unmade bed that I spent all night nursing my son in, the messy bathroom where G is learning to brush his own teeth...These are not eye sores to be moaned and fretted over, these are deliciusly messy reminders of a life that Love built...

This Home

This Home.
was built on Love,
Nourished with Laughter
Blessed by God.
And will be Protected from harm
by Strong Hands
and Happy Hearts
that will give Freely
towards Building a Haven
Around
the Lives they have created....

Looking forward to the week ahead with excitement and gratitude :)

Letter to Giovanni 4.25.2012 (2yrs, 5 months)

Hi my love,

Your brother Isaiah arrived into the world 6 days ago on April 19th, 2012. A couple days before he arrived, your dad and I took you to get your first real haircut and spent a lovely day at the Oregon Zoo with you to celebrate Packy the elephants 50th birthday. That day was so special for me, You talked about seeing Packy all day and had a blast running around and oohing and ahhing over the "big animals" (sea lions) and the sheep, pigs and cows at the petting zoo. We all went on a train ride and  you jumped, giggled and made your dad and I laugh the whole time. All day long I marveled at you, looking so handsome with your new haircut. I couldn't stop smiling at your delight in the sunshine and animals.

When your brother was born, I stayed in the hospital for two days afterwards. When I came home, you had gone on a growth spurt and seemed to have "grown up" before my very eyes. While I am, of course, delighted to see you growing into such a strong, healthy, amazing boy, it also made me sad to think that soon, you will not be a baby anymore and this (along with the pregnancy hormones) has stirred up some wonderful memories as well as some sadness in me remembering when you were my only baby!

For the past two and a half years, the amount of joy and the infinite number of beautiful, lasting memories you have given me are immeasurable and priceless. I remember when, we brought you home from the hospital and you were so tiny (and very very collicky) you hardly slept and were restless and upset most of the day and night but, despite all that fussiness, I fell madly in love with you, taking pictures to document even the slightest smile, new discovery and moments of your day. I would put you on the counter in your bouncing chair while I made dinner and strap a tiny, rattling toy duck to your wrist to play with. I would list out loud to you every ingredient I was using and you would watch me intently with your beautiful eyes, As you got older, I would bring your high chair in and have you "help" me make dinner while I fed you bits and pieces of tomatoes, cheese and any other ingredients I thought you would enjoy. During your earliest days, you hated to miss any of the action going on in the house so I would carry you and your boppy pillow with me from room to room, propping you up and talking to you while I did laundry or dishes or caught an occasional and rare nap.

These days you amuse your mama to no end with your love of your sidewalk chalk as well as your watering can that your great grandpa gave you and that you use to water the flowers and grass any time the sun comes out. Your love of nature, basketball, water and the park and your funny, light spirit that keeps us all laughing. When I came home from the hospital with Isaiah fearing that maybe you wouldn't feel as close to me with the new addition, you helped me with the baby and gave me your big, wonderful signature hugs throughout the day where you pull me in tight to you, close your eyes and hold me for as long as I need you to. When your dad and I venured out to the waterfront park the other day, you found a tiny patch of sand and stood on it, calling it the "beach".  When I was sitting by your crib one night after putting you to bed and began to get nostalgic and sniffle into the phone while talking to your Grandma Bubby (or "Bubb-ah" as you call her in your sweet, still baby voice) you began sniffing to mimic my sniffling, automatically making me laugh out loud to which you responded by laughing out loud as well, once again cheering my heart as you always do. I have made it my goal to sit next to your bed every night until you are asleep and this has brought me so much joy as we sing and laugh you off to sleep. The other night, as your grandma sang to you over the phone from many many miles away, you raised your arm and waved your sippy cup in the air, once again eliciting laughter from your mama. I love nothing more than I love watching you grow into a person that clearly lights the hearts of others in such an effortless way. Everywhere we go, you make people laugh and strangers are always commenting on how cute you are.

During the past two and a half years, you have blossomed into this funy, smart and absolutely breathtakingly beautiful boy who loves to dance, loves to watch, sing and dance to Yo Gabba Gabba (so much so that you have earned the nickname Gabba Man from your dad), loves to be read to (Bedtime little Monsters, Muddy paws and Curious George are some favorites) and who would choose picking flowers for mama, watching birds and playing with sticks and rocks over strenuous sports any day. You are strong and solid in build but you are kind and gentle and treat other kids with respect. You and I have so many inside jokes from all the time we have spent together reading, taking field trips and spending countless hours on end together. When you are eating your snacks, you will look over at me and move your lips and make a funny face. I mimic this which never fails to send you into a laughing fit. Another favorite joke of ours is for me to take this old green basket and pretend it is a hat. I let the basket fall off my head while talking and then I act shocked and you start cracking up. When someone asks how old you are you assuredly say "TWO" while holding up 2 fingers and when someone asks your name, you happily yell out "Big G"!! You love it when I sing songs from Yo Gabba Gabba and you have this wonderful imagination where an old cone becomes a loudspeaker, a plastic toy becomes a juice cup and you will endlessly amuse yourself by acting out scenes from a favorite show or from something that happened during your day. You love playing the drums your dad got you and you hate to be told to be quiet. You have recently started saying "okay mama" when I ask you to do something and you say, "please, thank you and I'm sorry" at the appropriate times. These funny little things you do and these times we share warm my heart and make me remember that, even though you are now not my only baby, you will forever be my first born, you will forever be my baby and you will always hold a wonderful, huge spot in my heart that only you can fill.

Thank you for all the memories and for being my big helper. I will forever cherish the times we have spent just you and I and I am looking forward to a life of laughter and love as I watch you and your brother grow up into the great friends and great men I know you will become! I love you my little "sweet pea", "green bean" "baby beast", "Gabba Man", "Rock N Roll", "Big G" :)

Big hugs from your ever loving mama!

Road Trippin

I am lucky that, with the line of work I am in, we are slow around the holidays and I am afforded long vacations during these periods. Having been gifted with 3 weeks off over the end of December/beginning of January, I had planned an 8 day trip to California to visit family. Being 6 and a half months pregnant, I had not planned on bringing my 2 year old along on this trip. However, at the last minute, I started having anxiety about being away from my precious boy for that long and decided that I simply must take him with me. Of course my family and friends thought I was nuts for taking on this amount of work and all tried to assure me it could not be done. Well, fortunately, I am the type of person that, when determined to do something, only becomes more determined the more people try to assure me that what I want to do cannot be done…

So, at 6am on a cold Monday morning, I headed out for the long drive from Portland, Oregon to California w/my half asleep baby in the back seat. I drove for about two hours while he slept peacefully. With my cup of coffee close by, a full tank of gas, my GPS securely in place and my CD player cranking out my favorite tunes, I felt peaceful and free. Giovanni woke up at about 8am and we stopped for breakfast at a place called Joe’s Café in Harrisburg, Oregon. The portions were huge and tasty, the food was cheap and Giovanni kept me entertained by pointing at a man with a long white beard sitting near us and occasionally yelling “Santa Clause” at this stranger. After breakfast, we took a stroll through a little country store filled with souvenirs and snacks and I let Giovanni pick out some goodies for the road. Once back on the road, I drove for about an hour and a half before stopping for gas, getting in a quick diaper change and letting Giovanni run around on a strip of lush green grass set away from the road. I couldn't help but laugh as my baby skipped and cooed happily while investigating each leaf, drop of dew and dandelion intently. Our next stop a couple hours later was in Roseburg, Oregon where I pulled up to an indoor shopping mall. Giovanni had me cracking up laughing when he looked out the window, saw the mall and exclaimed, “Mall, we’re at the mall!!!” As if of course that explained this long drive perfectly. Stopping in a rite aid bathroom for a diaper change where they had no changing table, I reluctantly laid my jacket on the bathroom floor and placed Giovanni on top of it while his trusting, happy gaze thanked me for my selflessness. During our stop at the mall I bought him snacks, refilled his sippy cup and gave him a handful of quarters to put in the candy and prize machines. We stayed a the mall for about an hour and a half before beginning our trek to our stop-for-the-night destination of Ashland, Oregon. We got to Ashland around 3pm and checked into our hotel. I put on Yo Gabba Gabba on the Ipad for Giovanni while I brought our luggage in and then we headed out to Lithia park, a gorgeous park in downtown Ashland where Giovanni got to chase ducks, stand on a bridge overlooking a river bed and check out a mini waterfall. After Lithia park, we walked around downtown for a bit to enjoy the amazing 65 degree weather (in January!!). All of the quaint shops were still decked out in beautiful Christmas lights and Giovanni was fascinated. When we had had our fill of sightseeing, we headed back to the hotel for pizza, cartoons and a trip to the indoor heated pool. At first, Giovanni was afraid of the pool but I sat him on the first step and let him jump into my arms. Once he would jump I would swoop him up in my arms and twirl him around the pool. All the way back to our room (and for half the night after that) he excitedly talked about the pool with a big smile on his face.

The next day we enjoyed a continental breakfast in the hotel lobby followed by more Yo Gabba Gabba while I packed up the car. Once we were all ready, we hit the road for Redding, where we stopped at the Turtle Bay Exploration Center. Giovanni was fascinated by the amazing park and wildlife inside of the exploration center and by the beautiful Sun Dial Bridge adjacent to the center. We took a bunch of pictures and I couldn’t believe that 3 hours had passed by the time we got back in the car. Next stop was In N Out where we met my uncle that lives in Redding before hitting the road for my moms house in Concord, Ca. We got to grandmas house at about 7pm and got Giovanni bathed, fed and in his jammies so he could begin unwinding for the long drive.

Throughout our whole stay in the bay area, We were blessed with beautiful, sunny, 75 degree weather and the days seemed endless as we visited with family, went on trips to the park and out to eat, visited the beach in Santa Cruz and even squeezed in an impromptu baby shower. Giovanni’s teen aged cousins showered him with attention and he got to bond with his grandma who just could not get enough of his dimpled smile and funny, outgoing personality. Giovanni also got to spend time with both his great grandma Dee and great grandpa Lou who adore him. As for me, I was blessed with this amazing, once in a lifetime experience of true one on one bonding with my only son before his little brother arrives in just a few short months. A memory that stands out in particular is of Giovanni and I napping at my moms house one afternoon. When he woke up, he was turned away from me and started to fuss. I whispered his name and he turned towards me, smiled and gave me the biggest hug while nodding his head up and down as if to say, “yes, now this is just right” J

I could not have asked for a more perfect time and I will treasure always the memories of signing songs to him while on the road, waking up each day at my moms to his happy sounds and his angelic face smiling at me from the pack N play and feeling his soft, warm, toddler arms around my neck when he would stop to hug me during the day or as he drifted off to sleep at night. Was the trip a lot of work? Definitely! Am I exhausted? You know I am. Would I have changed one single minute of it? No way!

Since we have returned home it has been torture to tear myself away from Giovanni for even a few hours to go to work each day but the thoughts of our amazing trip still burn bright in my mind, helping me through the dreary hours away from home and giving me something to look forward to when I return each night and get to hold my baby tight and rock him to sleep at night. When baby Isaiah arrives in April, I have no doubt that he and Giovanni will be the best of friends and that, once again, my heart will expand to a level of love and bonding that I didn’t know I was capable of. But, in my heart, my mind and my soul, I will never forget the smiles, the memories, the love and the closeness that my first born and I shared, just the two of us, on this very special trip.

All the love I have, I give to you, my sweet baby!

-New Mommy in Town