Teach, your children well
And feed them on your dreams
The one they pick
The one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would die
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you..."
About a month ago, when I was in the throes of brand new motherhood and brooding over every cry, gasp and sigh that my baby emitted, I got a call from one of my favorite aunties, inquiring as to how I was doing. I admitted to her that I was struggling. A heavy combination of sleep deprivation, forgetting to eat and not having a chance to bathe as frequently as I was used to had left me wondering if I was cut out for the hefty job of motherhood. My aunt assured me that all new moms face these same thoughts and also told me that I would miss these times. "What?" I questioned her incredulously, "why would anyone miss THIS?" My aunt chuckled as she sagely replied, "I know it sounds crazy, but you will miss it. You spend the first few months bonding so intensely with your child and then you spend the next 18 years learning to let go."
These words struck a cord with me and, in the days and weeks that have followed, I have begun to see things differently. I have stopped looking at every cry as a reason to worry incessantly and rather have begun to really listen to his cries, notice his smiles and respond to his oohs and ahhs. In response I can tell that he is learning to trust me and he cries less and smiles more. He looks up at me and shows signs of being comforted and feeling secure. I have had to push myself to learn how to see things through the eyes of a child again and suddenly dancing around the living room to children's music or going to the park and looking at birds or reading books about the color blue don't seem like tedious silly tasks to me anymore but rather now seem like new adventures and learning experiences to look forward to and savor.
I have been striving lately to face each day as a chance to do something new and exciting (even if it is just strapping on a baby bjorn and sweeping the kitchen floor). Because, while changing poopy diapers all day or rocking a sleeping baby for hours or wiping drool off my baby's chin for the umpteenth time might not be what I would most like to be doing, each of these important task carries with it a moment that I will never have again and each moment carries with it a chance to teach my baby to trust, to learn, to feel secure. I have been blessed with the enormous responsibility of raising a child and I want to take that responsibility seriously. I may never have these small chances to hold my baby, or see his smile or play with him again, as none of us know what the future holds. These days will go quickly and soon, he will be walking, then talking, then he will be in school and making friends and learning to be his own person and all too soon, he won't won't want me to cuddle him or to rock him or sing to him.
So mothers, hold your children close. cradle them, protect them, sing to them, soothe them, set guidelines for them, teach them, love them. Take time every day to kiss them, play with them, tell them that you love them. That way, you can watch with pride as they grow into the people they will become and you will always have the memories of how you helped them along the way to warm your heart and bring them back to you, regardless of how far they may wander away from home.
May god bless all mommies (and daddies too) everywhere!
-New Mommy in Town
