My son is now 3 months old. About a week before his 3 month birthday, I decided that co-sleeping was no longer an option, not only did my son seem uncomfortable as he grunted, gasped and kicked my husband and I all night, desperately trying to free himself from the positioning wedge we had him propped up on (acid reflux be damned) but two and a half months of getting an average of three hours of sleep (and not consecutive hours either mind you) was turning me into a complete wreck I couldn't think straight during the day, was losing patience with both my son and my husband and falling behind at work.
I spoke with my husband and then looked up sleep methods for training infants to sleep in their cribs. I decided to try the Ferber method. The Ferber method advises parents to pick a time when they are not desperate for sleep and to begin putting their child in his or her own bed in increasing 5 minute increments. For example, the first night you would put your child down in their own bed and leave the room. If they cry, you wait five minutes before going in, comforting them, putting them back down and leaving the room again. If they cry again, you wait 10 minutes before going in, comforting them and getting them back down. You max out the time that you will let them cry at 15 minutes. The next night, you increase the length between visits in 5 minute increments (i.e. let them cry for 10 minutes, then 15, maxing out at 20).
The first night, the baby cried each time we left him. After an hour and a half of crying/comforting and crying again, the baby fell asleep on his own and slept five hours straight. The next night he cried intensely for 15 minutes before falling asleep, again for five hours. This night was the hardest because of the intensity of the crying. It does break any parents heart to hear their child crying, but my husband and I were determined that not only would sleeping in his own bed be best for the baby as he would be more comfortable and there would be less safety risks, but it would benefit us as well as I would be more rested, have more patience and would avoid losing my job due to mistakes caused by lack of sleep. By the third night, the baby did not cry when we put him in his crib and he again slept a full five hours. After he would sleep five hours I would change him, feed him, and rock him until he became sleepy before putting him back down again. I began noticing that he was happier during the day, was getting on more of a schedule and seemed well rested in the mornings. He also began taking his afternoon naps in his crib without fussing. After a week of sleeping from 9pm-3.am each night, he slept a full 8 hours. Heaven!My husband and I have our bed back again and I am no longer cranky, tired and absentminded all day from lack of sleep.
In my opinion, when a parent is ready and anxiety free enough to train their child to sleep in their own bed, I don't know why any parent wouldn't use this method. However, in reading blogs pertaining to this practice, it seems that there is a large percentage of parents that feel this method is cruel, scarring and traumatic to children. When I see my child's bright eyes and happy smile in the morning and see that he has had a comfortable nights sleep, I can't imagine how he is scarred by sleeping in his own bed. I also don't think he will remember a total of maybe two hours of crying as a baby for the rest of his life. I have talked to parents of two and three year old children that say they wish they had tried something like this earlier and complain that their toddlers are still sleeping in their parents bed and not sleeping through the night.
Obviously, it is every parents decision how and when they decide to try and get their children to sleep in their own beds but this route worked for us and has been a real blessing. Baby, mommy and daddy are reaping the benefits of of sleep filled nights and all are thriving because of it. Whatever it is that you choose to do, I wish every new mom lots of sleep, however you manage to get it. Happy mommies create happy babies!
Good Luck and Good Night
-New Mommy in Town
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