Having grown up being taken to church every Sunday and hearing person after person preach at me without seeing them living by the words they were speaking led me to turn away from the church for a very long time. I felt like my relationship with God was my business and I didn't want to be around people that would judge me or judge anyone for that matter. after all, it is not our place to judge others, it is our place to show the fruits of the spirit (love, patience, forgiveness, etc...) and to leave any judging up to God.

Well, after many years of not going to church, after i had my son i felt a real pull to not only find a community of believers where I could be myself, make friends and worship as i wished to, but also to find a place where my son would be raised among religious beliefs that matched my own. One Sunday morning, at my mother's urging, i took a chance and typed a search into Google for churches near my house that offered childcare. I found one nearby and I liked the name of the church so I took a chance and went. What I found there blew me away. In honor of the 4th of July, this church was having their service outside, followed by a children's bike parade and a potluck. I dropped my son off at the daycare where a group of children his age gathered around him showing him toys and greeting him with their sweet toddler giggles and smiles. The sermon was amazing as the preacher spoke of giving without an audience and doing things for god rather than calling attention to ourselves. The pastor was funny, lighthearted and down to earth. I felt an immediate connection and application between what he was saying and what i had always believed. the sermon closed with everyone being invited to bow their heads and, if they wished, to say out loud a prayer for our government and our leaders. Tears streamed down my face as i heard person after person approach the troubles of our world and the conflicts we face from a place of love and prayer rather than from a place of fear or anger. After the service I stayed for the potluck and i witnessed an outpouring of offerings from the congregation that resulted in a beautiful children's parade and a delicious lunch. I sat and spoke with two elderly women, one that had been attending this church since the 50's except for a 10 year period when she lived in Africa as a missionary. The other, it turned out, had lived in my hometown for 5 years where her and her husband had started a church. The women asked me what church I had gone to before this one and i openly admitted that I had not gone to church for a very long time and was honest about my reasons why. they simply nodded their heads as I spoke and then expressed their happiness for having my presence at their church this day and told me they looked forward to seeing me again next Sunday. As I left, i felt hungry to come back and feel that sense of acceptance and closeness to God from people that were living what they spoke about.

the next Sunday, after having a grueling week filled with work, household chores, countless arguments with my husband, conflict with my stepson and a grumpy teething baby on my hands, I returned to church by myself feeling sad, defeated, stressed to the max. On my way to church, i was praying that God would change my household's hearts so that we could work as a cohesive unit. That day, a guest pastor recited the Lord's Prayer and then went through, line by line, looking deeper into the meaning of each verse. He spoke of the fact that,if we are praying for someone or something, we need to be prepared to be the answer to that prayer. When he recited the line about giving us this day our daily bread he went on to say that, when god was in the desert, the devil knew he was hungry and came to him to tempt him saying, "Aren't you the saviour that can turn rock into bread? if you are hungry, why don't you do that?" He spoke of how god refused to give into the devil because he was full of the word of God and that, if we are to resist the devil trying to tempt us by taking advantage of what we are hungry for (love, money, success) we need to be full of the word of god (our daily bread) so that we will not be tempted by our hunger. He spoke about our hearts being like a cup and that, if our cups are full of anger, resentment or sadness that we are holding onto, we have no room for the love and light of God's presence so we must take our cups and pour our hearts out to God. It turns out the man that was speaking has been a member of this church for several years and, 5 years ago he moved himself, his wife and his 4 children to China where they live as Missionaries, in the last 5 years, they have started a rehabilitation center, a garden and a ministry where they invite strangers (or angels as he called them) into their home to fellowship. the mans wife showed a slide show of their life in china and you could see how them living through the spirit has blessed their family and their lives.

I left the service that day feeling renewed. I had cried out to god (silently of course) throughout the service and my heart felt renewed, empty and full of space for the word of God to fill me and work through me). When I got home I had a long talk with my husband and then with our stepson where we laid out ground rules for how we would treat each other and our home. We agreed that once a week, each of us would choose an activity that the whole family could enjoy together. My husband and my stepson agreed to go to church with me twice a week and my stepson enrolled in a weekly youth group.

Of course this is fairly new to us and i do feel that i and my family will continue to grow and blossom with the help of the lord but already, i can feel a difference in how we are interacting with each other, how we speak to each other and even in my own reactions to things that occur. My husband, who has a fairly new side business recently found out that, due to something he had had installed on his brand new car by a "friend" damages had been caused to his car and it was going to cost him $1200 out of pocket to repair. In the past my husband would have been really upset by something like this and may have taken it out on people that had nothing to do with it. So, imagine my surprise and delight when my husband stayed calm and even praised Jesus on the ride home that, due to his side business which this "friend" had helped him start he had enough money to pay for the car repairs without having to dip into savings. When I heard him give thanks to god, even under circumstances that were not ideal I knew that my prayers were working and i know that, if we continue to walk on this path, displaying the fruits of the spirit and putting our trust in god, we will surely be blessed.

Looking forward to the future!

-New mommy in Town